Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
Updated: Jun 11, 2019
My fiancé and I have been long distance 90% of our time together. We met while he played hockey in my hometown. But soon after, he moved back home for the summer, and he plays in New York during the hockey season. We have been together over 3 years, and I must say long distance is not a choice I would have chosen but sometimes your heart and God have a different plan for you. Here are some tips on surviving and making a long distance relationship last!
Set Your Expectations in the Beginning
Before you decide to start or continue a relationship that is long distance, you and your significant other need to communicate about the expectations of your relationship. Will you both agree to text every day? Will you pick a day of a week to talk on the phone? Voice call or Facetime? Will it be okay if you both go out all night on the weekends? What about having close friends of the opposite sex? I could go on and on with questions. With any relationship , but definitely a long distance relationship you must communicate your expectations BEFORE or you will be sadly disappointed.
When Anton invited me to Sweden for the first time, we had been long distance for about 40ish days. It wasn't too hard yet because it was summer so we were both keeping ourselves busy. Before I left Sweden, we discussed how we would make our relationship work. Would I travel to him? When would he travel to me? How would we make sure to be present in each other's lives? Would we be okay if the other went out for the night? Etc.
Set Your Priorities
Luckily, Anton and I both began to make our relationship a priority once we decided to begin dating. I would check Anton's hockey schedule and pick out possible dates I would travel to see him, and vice versa. There have been family and friend moments I have missed because I chose to fly or drive to Anton for the weekend. Anton has done the same for me. For example, a winter storm hit NY canceling an entire weekend of games. He bought a flight for the next morning and drove two hours to an airport (because his first flight was canceled but they offered him a flight from a different airport) just to see me for a weekend.
Not only will your schedule but your money will become another priority you will have to consider for long distance. Driving and flying involve money so you will need to choose to save up money and skip other activities to be able to travel. I have spent weekend after weekend home on my couch so I could buy a plane ticket to see Anton.
If your relationship is not a priority then I promise you the relationship will not last or you will be miserable. Long distance makes contact and communication even more necessary, and if you choose to go days without talking or months without seeing each other, you will not be able to grow in your relationship.
If you don't trust each other, it will not LAST!
I could probably brag on Anton all day long, but not only in a long distance relationship but as a professional hockey player blurred lines can happen every week. I could write an entire blog on the difficulties of being an athlete's significant other but I'll just slightly touch on it here. We have agreed when either of us receives a message or is put in an awkward situation with someone of the opposite sex we tell each other immediately. Not because we think the other will be mad, but with people now a days someone will hear about or see something and it can get twisted. We want each other to the be first person to tell the other if something occurs.
Anton and I have NEVER had each other's passwords nor go behind each other's back to check social media. We are very transparent with each other, and we have open communication where we can speak with one another about a person/situation that makes us uncomfortable.
Keep Yourself Busy
Anton and I have always put each other first, but since we are long distance, we have our own lives. We have no issue with the other going out with friends. It helps knowing each other's friends because you feel more comfortable. This also helps with keeping yourself busy and distracted. I enjoy my girls' weekend with friends while he's playing
Having a full time job plus hobbies that take up much of my extra time, it has helped me stay busy. Anton stays pretty busy as well with hockey, friends, family, and hobbies. This can make time go by faster, so don't just sit at home doing nothing because you miss your significant other. Use this time to build your career, explore hobbies or spend time with loved ones.
Fun Fact and Tips
Communication and Honesty is Key
Long Distance will only work for some time...There eventually has to be a plan for moving closer
During the summer, Anton is 6 hours ahead of me which makes talking to each other harder
Sunday is our "No Matter What" Facetime Day
If you are person who needs constant attention and affection, long distance is not for you